Does Stoicism Extinguish the Fire of Life Art of Manliness
I'k jumping right in today for this longer edition. These are two books that have the ability to alter your life. Also included is a really fun philosophy-laced interview with Kyle Eschenroeder.
When Breath Becomes Air past Paul Kalanithi
Published: 2016 | Pages: 225
"Even if I'm dying, until I actually dice, I am still living." —Paul Kalanithi
In the midst of any big life-changing effect, it'south only natural to retrieve about meaning. What is this all about? What are we here for? What'south the best use of our limited time and attention on this planet?
I initially read When Breath Becomes Air afterward the birth of my showtime son, back in the summer of 2015. While rocking him in the middle of the night, settled into our manus-me-downwardly glider, I flipped the pages on my telephone, astounded at the beauty and honesty and depth of feeling this memoir produced. I say this with no hyperbole: the late Paul Kalanithi spoke to me in those late nights and helped me become a better parent.
So when my daughter was built-in in early on 2018, I read it again. The 2d reading was just as impactful and reinforced those passages and ideas that and then moved me the first time.
In the months leading upwards to the birth of third child, I knew I'd exist reading When Breath Becomes Air once more once he was born. This go-round was perhaps the near profound. I realized that Paul's words had become embedded into my psyche and so deeply that, upon reading them again, my soul answered with an affirmative, "Yep, that's how it is!" rather than with the more than center-opening realization of a new revelation.
Books—in concert with a life lived—can change you lot. This is a volume that has changed me, to the cadre, for the better.
Dr. Paul Kalanithi was not at the acme of his career, but he was just starting up the curve that would ultimately lead to that noon. In his belatedly thirties, he was a well-known neurosurgeon-neuroscientist with a knack for philosophy and literature too. The first half of the book details the hard work—about indescribably hard—of that rise.
That kickoff role is beautiful, no doubt, and I could spill plenty of electronic ink detailing how information technology moved me. But information technology's the second one-half of the book that brought me to tears all iii times I read it.
Right when everything was clicking in Paul'southward life, he was broadsided with a cancer diagnosis—a bad i—that was a supremely bad stroke of luck for a man of his age. Forth with his wife Lucy, Paul embarked on a journey to figure out what really makes life meaningful. He sought that meaning with everything left in his tank and then pursued it once he constitute some answers that seemed correct (considering is in that location really a final respond to that ultimate question?):
"'Will having a newborn distract from the time we have together?' she asked. 'Don't you remember maxim goodbye to your kid volition make your decease more than painful?'
'Wouldn't it be not bad if it did?' I said. Lucy and I both felt that life wasn't about avoiding suffering."
It'due south nearly impossible to respond the question "Do y'all have a favorite volume?" If I were ever forced to answer, though, I wouldn't hesitate to proper noun When Breath Becomes Air. You won't be the aforementioned subsequently reading information technology.
Related books I've read/reviewed: The Death of Ivan Ilyich past Leo Tolstoy (read my review), The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (read my review), Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese, Without Explanation by Rod Jasmer
Books added to my reading list: Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs, How We Dice past Sherwin Nuland
Quick premium member update: This calendar week I sent premium subscribers another edition of The List, in which I dished out a few recommendations for great books well-nigh a few of our depression-ranked presidents. Cheque out that listing, and all the premium archives, by subscribing below for only $v/month:
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On Caring by Milton Mayeroff
Published: 1971 | Pages: 110
"Through caring for certain others, by serving them through caring, a human lives the significant of his own life. . . . he is at dwelling not through dominating, or explaining, or appreciating, but through caring and being cared for."
This is a delightful book that serendipitously found its way to my shelf through the writing of my friend Kyle Eschenroeder (see below). It'due south a small work, penned 50 years ago, that Kyle has quoted in a few impactful articles and those passages ever stood out to me. I finally bought information technology, read it in about 2 days, and experienced a true paradigm shift in the process.
The gist is pretty simple: the deed of caring for others can constitute the meaning of your life. It'southward quite a moving message when the interpersonal roles of your existence are considered. Meaning, nosotros tend to think, most often comes from our work. But if we're intentional about it, we can find the aforementioned fulfillment and satisfaction in our roles equally parent, kid, friend, neighbor, and sibling.
Caring is non piece of cake, that'south for damn certain. But when love enters the picture, what was one time an arduous task becomes an act that we can inexplicably take joy in:
"Obligations that derive from devotion are a elective element in caring, and I practice not feel them as forced on me or equally necessary evils; there is a convergence between what I feel I am supposed to do and what I desire to do. The father who goes for the doctor in the middle of the night for his sick child does not experience this every bit a burden; he is simply caring for the child."
Mayeroff describes the various aspects of caring, as well as what caring feels like. It's partially philosophical (some of those bits went over my head) and partially a guidebook for how to intendance for someone, or, at times, something. It's utterly unlike anything I've read before.
I won't say more than than that for at present—On Caring is not a book that begs for a long review, other than to say that your idea of what brings life meaning may fundamentally shift subsequently reading information technology. As I was reminded of in Kalanithi'due south memoir too, life'south greatest gifts are always found outside the self.
A Few Bookish Questions With Kyle Eschenroeder
Kyle is one of the most thoughtful writers I've run into on the internet. His articles on Fine art of Manliness are some of my favorites that nosotros've always published, and his Pocket Guide to Action is a volume I turn to on near a daily basis. His newsletter is required reading too. He was generous enough to provide some amazing book recs beneath.
1. You're a marketer/entrepreneurship guy with the soul of a philosopher. How did y'all get that philosophizing streak? Were there books that initially pushed you in that direction?
As long as I can recall, I've been pretty focused on living life as well every bit I peradventure could. I was pretty certain most what that meant until afterward in higher when my parents got divorced, I shut down a couple large projects, and I experienced a prolonged, deep depression. At that point I realized that maybe I didn't know exactly what it meant to live a good life, and and then I started looking wherever I could detect answers (or helpful questions).
Book-wise, things got weirder as I needed more from philosophy. Basic cocky-help stuff was motivating early on, but weren't nifty in helping my depressed mind that needed something more than . . . sincere? Trustworthy? I recollect reading Nietzsche'south Beyond Skilful and Evil on a backpacking trip with my sister and it turning my world upside downwards. That book helped me realize how fundamentally a book tin alter a person.
two. It seems like much of what you read is in the non-fic/business concern realm. Do you lot read much fiction? Any favorites?
Novels definitely become less of my fourth dimension than they should. Each time I finish a great one I know that it'due south going to be more useful than whatever nonfiction book. Stories or examples from novels are more likely to popular up for me when I need them than non-fiction books. And I think you can't actually know what great writing is unless you lot spend time with novels. The bar is merely so much higher.
A few of my favorites:
—Virtually things by Neal Stephenson, but I like his early on shorter books like Snowcrash and The Diamond Historic period a lot.
—Zorba the Greek was incredibly fun to read. It mixes philosophy with a story, which I love. The interplay of the serious guy and the wild homo are really fun. The section about the "frugal eye" is an example of an idea that you could read in a philosophy volume, only there'south no way information technology'd sink in like it does when you lot read the book.
—Asimov's Foundations trilogy is absolutely incredible. The globe building, exploration of religion and power, and geopolitics over vast periods of fourth dimension is mind blowing.
—So is the Dune saga.
—Fredrik Backman's A Homo Called Ove was really touching, and his new book Anxious People is hilarious and touching.
—Private Citizens does a not bad job at painting a picture of a sure grouping of millennials.
—Sheila Heti'south How Should a Person Be? is super innovative and fun to read. It'due south pretty autobiographical and is keen for whatever artsy people (I do recall women would specially like it).
— Thus Spoke Zarathustra is 1 of the simply novels I've reread. Nietzsche is only intoxicating if you're in a place to appreciate it.
three. Are there authors or books that have especially influenced your arroyo to writing?
Definitely more than I know. Steven Pressfield'south The War of Fine art made me believe a short volume with half-page capacity could work, which allowed The Pocket Guide To Action to be. You actually pointed out that a lot of my stuff is in a similar manner to Maria Popova, which I didn't recognize until you said information technology and now it just seems pretty obvious.
I think different authors have freed me to do what was available to me at different times. I remember reading a F. Scott Fitzgerald quote about how, when you're immature, you don't have real skill, so y'all have to rely on free energy and emotions. That made me get much more than "vulnerable" rather than trying to write well, which I call back helped me avoid trying to exist an expert. Jack Kerouac talked a lot well-nigh writing reality every bit obviously and straight as possible, which was helpful. He as well gave me this line "respect your experience" which is helpful when yous feel your point of view isn't valid. Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird was simply this wonderful reminder to get it washed.
There are hundreds of these little tidbits that gave me the permission I needed at the time.
4. Have any favorite or especially influential business organization/entrepreneurship books you recommend?
I'm trying to retrieve of ones that aren't super mutual:
— The Fish That Ate the Whale is just an amazing concern story. This guy went from selling old bananas to taking over governments.
—Taleb's stuff is and so practiced. I call up Fooled Past Randomness gets overlooked considering information technology was his first non-textbook volume, only it's worth going back to.
— Titan is an incredible biography of John D. Rockefeller.
— Obliquity by John Kay does a great job showing how some things aren't always most finer achieved past aiming directly at them.
—The Anatomy of Humbug is the marketing book I wish everyone would read. It gives an invaluable, cursory history of marketing and the various lenses that come and become with dissimilar trends. I don't know of a meliorate tool to frame the hype from new marketing consultants that come in spouting the expiry of this or that or some new prototype.
— Alchemy by Rory Sutherland is a call to arms against our obsession with spreadsheets. Nobody describes how psychological value is created as well every bit him. It's also just super entertaining.
—Specific books, courses, newsletters, and communities. Books are groovy, but I think for a lot of niche business stuff, most people will find more than quality information by taking online courses, joining paid communities, seeking out newsletters, and reading bad-looking (and probably poorly written) books nearly the very specific niche matter you're interested in.
5. Are in that location books you find yourself referencing, thinking about, and/or recommending over and over again? Basically, do you have whatsoever all-fourth dimension favorites that have shaped your life and your thinking?
— On Caring has been the volume I've returned to and gifted the nearly since I discovered information technology five years ago. Information technology's brusk and has valuable insights to employ in literally every realm of your life.
—I recall nearly Taleb's Antifragile all the time, particularly when I see parts of my life condign fragile.
—I think of Pressfield's The State of war of Artall the time when I find myself playing small; his description of "The Resistance" can be really helpful.
—Emerson'southward essay"Cocky-Reliance" comes to mind frequently when I find myself losing affect with who I am. This is why I wrote The Guide To Self-Reliance.
— Roman Honor was recommended to me by Brett, information technology's a somewhat obscure history book and is absolutely intoxicating. The book intimately introduces the reader to how people in a unlike time and identify processed the world. It's a book that shows clearly that how our civilisation is created determines the possibilities of our inner lives. Fans of Stoicism especially should read it. The Art of Manliness article "Stoic Philosophy - Does It Extinguish The Fire Of Life?" is a keen introduction to some of the ideas.
— The Passion of the Western Mind tells the story of Western idea. LikeRoman Honour, information technology shows how differently humans can feel life depending on the philosophy they're operating nether. I honey books like this that show non primarily the history of events, just the history of human being perspectives—it makes you realize how deeply your perspective of the world is adamant past your place in history.
—John Kaag's iii books on how a philosophy worked on/through him ( Hiking With Nietzsche, American Philosophy,and Ill Souls, Healthy Minds ). In fairly brusk, quick-paced books he gives an incredible introduction to and history of a philosophy, biography of a philosopher, and memoir of how the philosophy worked on him. Information technology's astonishing. I don't know how he does it.
6. What are you reading and enjoying correct now? What's next on your list?
I'm currently reading:
— Feeding Your Demons is maybe the most applied book I've seen about dealing with one's shadow (at least parts of it). It introduces a unproblematic meditation technique which has been really effective for me so far (and also feels totally ridiculous at sure points).
— Leisure: The Footing of Culture is a short essay written in Deutschland post-WW2. This book is dense with insights about just how securely our obsession with work and effort as humans get, and how widely these touch on the states equally individuals and equally a lodge.
— The Stoic Challenge is a fairly short book based on a simple philosophical tool:Pretend that every obstacle you encounter was placed at that place past the Stoic gods equally a fashion to test and improve your tranquility.I read this merely earlier visiting a family member in the ICU, so quickly discovered it's limits. Yet, it's ane of the more applied Stoic books out there and I really enjoyed it.
— How To Decide by Annie Duke is a workbook using her decision making framework. It's been helpful with a couple big decisions coming upward for me.
Thanks for the time and inbox space, as always. I'd love to hear what you're reading, too! If you enjoy the newsletter, I hope you'll consider subscribing equally a premium member:
It does a lot to support what I'm doing hither. Have a great weekend anybody!
-Jeremy
Source: https://readmorebooks.substack.com/p/what-to-read-next-no-162-nothing